Frustrated

         I am fighting a losing battle inside myself. My mind is unraveling and I am at a breaking point. I feel like I am dying from the inside out and every day it gets a little harder to paint the smile on my face. My heart hurts, my chest aches, my head is in chaos, my body feels like it may stop at any moment. BUT here I am lord.
         I don't want to feel like this. I don't want to feel weary, and I don't want to feel this emptiness. I don't want to be on pain pill cocktails and chemo chasers any more. I want to be NORMAL!!!! Here and now I come to you with the scars of my physical body and soul. Here I am with my fears, failures, sadness, sorrow, pain, anxiety and my broken self. I come to you with all that is within me. I come to you because, my tears won't stop. I am standing at the edge of reason, unable to keep myself from falling off.