DAMN CA125

To anyone who really reads this blog.... I apologize because I am not a great blogger as you have guessed and I haven't done a new post in IDK how long. So much has been going on in my life that I haven't had the time to sit down and really pour everything out. So here it goes.

About a month ago I was informed that I was no longer in remission and that in fact my cancer had advanced to stage 4. They believed it was not only in a section of my heart and lung, but, also my brain. So I had heart biopsies, lung biopsies and a brain biopsy, ct scans mris you name it they did it. I know I know I know exactly what you're thinking and I know the concerned and sad look on your face. Don't be afraid for me because I'm not scared. I keep telling everyone and I don't think anyone believes me, but, my divine physician is not sitting in a room in the cancer center at the cleveland clinic. I serve an amazing God who loves me with the most reckless extravagance despite my flaws. He is a healer, way maker, loving, caring, forgiving, redeemer who died on calvary hill for my healing and sins! He is AMAZING!! (<-- @ Rayshawn thank you for that reminder)

So tomorrow I will be admitted (reluctantly) and they will do some more testing and possible treatments and who knows what else. I just wanted to say thank you to my best friends (IN NO ORDER) Nana, Bri, Kristin, Angie, Maria, Kaddie and Marquand for being there for me despite my random mood swings and crying fits. For being a strong shoulder and constant ear. For loving me unconditionally and just being there. Also, to my church family there are no words to explain how incredible all of you are. Thank you for your prayers and for welcoming me in with open arms. Pastor Charlie and Pastor Jeff and your families for being there for me when I was afraid to allow anyone else to be there. For always reminding me that HE is always there and it's HIS plan. For pushing me to share my walk with HIM and for showing me what GRACE really is. Always to my family thank you for being my strength when I have none, and for being there and holding me up and supporting me!!!!

So to all of you, old friends, new friends, church friends, work friends ( WHAT UP B BARKER I <3 U), my REAL friends, and family I love you and I appreciate you. Thank you for everything you do. I'm not writing this as some kind of creepy final good bye or anything just wanted everyone to be on the same page. So like I said don't be sad and weird about all of this and give me those sad poor person looks because I'm alive and blessed!!!!


<3 TOSHA